Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
