...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
