So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
