So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize