the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
