You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
