Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
