I cockslap morals
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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