and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
