Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
