I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize