1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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