Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
