He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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