nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
