New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
