That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize