I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
