Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
