Dual....:-)
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I want a musical about memes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
