And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
