I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
