Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
