the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
