this beer tastes like vomit already
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
