I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
