just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
