How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
