Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
