don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
