She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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