Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
