Where is the hickey?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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