I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize