he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
