i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize