omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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