You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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