I'm going to jail i love you
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Your penis caused this!
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