I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
