i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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