handjob tips. give me some.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
