i don't like sucking hair
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
