sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
