sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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