"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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