i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
