she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
