Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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