Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
