Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
