Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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