You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This house was built for laser tag.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
