I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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