i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
