I want you more than these girls want KFC
So squirting runs in the family.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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