At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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