I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
