For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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