I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
