so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
