Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
