3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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