How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
